- Mr. Wizard Script  -

A. PROGRAM OPEN & FEATURED SEGMENT

Program Open:

Logo animation

Montage?

- Dissolve -

Mr. Wiz theme music in

 

 

 

 

MS- DG

A1 D.G.: Hello everyone and welcome to "Help Me Mr. Wizard!"

Music out

WS- Wiz Set

 

MS- DG

Key(L/3): Digital Guru

T-Channel Wizard

A2 D.G.: Im your host, D.G., with the rest of the Guru Crew to help you with all your computer conundrums.

Were here to bring enlightenment to you poor souls lost in the digital darkness... and because, frankly, we dont have anything better to do with our time.

MS- Rox

A3 ROX: (mumbles) Speak for yourself.

MS- DG

2S- DG & Rox

A4 D.G.: Thats right, Roxie here has an actual social life outside our little cyberden -

youre just here for the free pizza, right?

MS- Rox

Key(L/3): Roxanne

Call Screener/Party Girl

A5 ROX: Well, that, and I feel the audience ought to see at least one human in the room so they know theyre on the right planet. (painful "oof"s and "oh"s from the Crew)

2S- DG & Rox

MS- Winslow busily responding to emails

MS- Maxine looking bored as usual

A6 D.G.: Ever the loving den mother, Rox is screening questions from the unwashed masses for us.

We also have Winslow, here, our resident PC & Windows expert,

and Maxine, our Mac guru, for the thousands of Mac questions we receive every night.

 

MCU- D.G.

 

2S- DG & Rox

Our focus tonight is on fast modems, but you can call, email or mention in our chat room any computing problem youre having.

Say, Roxanne, do you know why you need a fast modem?
 

A7 ROX: Well, D.G....

MCU- DG

A8 D.G.: (interrupting) So you can get mo dem bits into your computer! (fake big smile) Get it? "mo dem...bits"

MCU- Rox

A9 ROX: (shakes her head, rolls her eyes) Get a life. Of course, you did make Winslow laugh.

MCU- Winslow, beet red and stifling

a chuckle

A10 D.G.: Cmon, lets hear it, Winslow...you know you want to!
 

A11 WINSLOW: (cant hold back any longer and lets loose a very horse-like giggle, to the amusement of everyone)

2S- DG & Rox

A12 D.G.: Yeah! There ya go! Thats why we call him Whinny, folks. (more laughter from all, repeating the name Whinny in agreement with D.G.)

MS- DG

 

Key (L/3): (Wiz URL)

Okay, well, moving along... You may have been hearing a lot about 56K modems and cable modems, and youve been wondering, "D.G., what should I do?" Well, the Wiz web site spells out all the plusses and minusses of both options, but what wed like to show you on the air here is the difference in speed between the two.

56K, under ideal conditions, would be about twice as fast as a 28-8. There are a lot of variables, though, that can reduce that speed quite a bit.

Cable modems, on the other hand, blaze! But instead of just yakking about it, lets see the difference!

SPLIT: (Top/left) Cable modem

downloads file and/or loads web site

(Bottom/right) 56K modem downloads same file and/or loads same site

- HIGHLIGHT TRANSITION FX -

(gives play by play of split-screen loading, and closes segment)

B. EMAILED PROBLEM

MS- DG

 

 

 

CU- Email display

 

2S- DG & Winslow

B1 D.G.: (looking at display) Taking a look in the ol' e-mailbag, we've got Puzzled in Penasquitos who sent in a question about modem connect speeds. (looking at camera) For using the Theme of the Day, you get a gold star! (back to display) Let's see, Puzzled asks: "Does my modem automatically figure out the best connect speed? If it connects at a lower speed than I think it should, should I redial?" What do you say, Winslow? Can ya handle it?

MS- Winslow

MS- DG

MS- Winslow

Key (L/3): Winslow

nerdus expertus

B2 WINSLOW: (looking smug) Piece o' cake, D.G., the answer is... "Yes, and yes." (pauses, still looking smug. D.G. gives a disapproving look, then Winslow goes on) OK, first of all, if you have a choice of phone numbers, such as with an Internet Service Provider, make sure you pick one that matches the speed of your modem. That said, your modem will do its best to connect at the optimum speed, but that can be affected by primarily two things: line quality and bandwidth. Noise on the line is as troublesome as it used to be, not as big of a problem anymore with today's error correction hardware and transmission protocols, but it can cause problems in more remote areas, or with older or cheaper modems.

(gets an idea, starts digging in desk drawers, holds up CD & AM radio)

The bandwidth of the line is where most of your connection speed issues come up. It's like... comparing an audio CD to an AM radio. The CD can provide more information, but if you listen to a CD via an AM radio you can see that the pipeline plays a big role in how much you can hear. And your modem has to do this in two directions, so your "connect speed" can be somewhat ambiguous.

 

MS- DG mocking Winslow

MS- Winslow looks suspiciously at DG, then continues

If you do get a significantly lower connect speed, redial. It may get better, it may not. If youre doing a large up or download, a better connect speed will be a nice timesaver. Don't worry about it if it's fairly close to what you normally get. The cost of the re-dial - if the call to your Internet provider isn't toll-free - may negate the small savings in download time unless you are doing a large download. In other words, your mileage may vary... (short-circuiting) void-where-prohibited, monitor-not-included, past-performance-is-no-indication-of-future-results...

MS- DG

B3 D.G.: (interrupting) Thats quite enough, Winslow!

- HIGHLIGHT TRANSITION FX -

  

C. T-WRECKS

Animated graphic incorporating T-Channel logo into T-Wrecks

T-Wrecks theme music in (:10)

C1 D.G.: Now we'd like to give you our T-Wrecks Tips, or What to Do If You Own a Dinosaur.

Music out

MS- DG

(condescending tone of voice) We know that some of you out there are still hobbling along on that old system you bought last spring... (looking shocked) or even longer ago than that!
 

Or maybe you're just a pack rat who can't throw anything away. You just know that 8086 is going to come in handy some day!

MS- Rox

C2 ROX: (softspoken and chipper) Actually, with a little creativity and a few common household tools, an 8086 makes a wonderful planter box for herbs or cat grass. Its a good thing.

2S- DG & Rox

C3 D.G.: (sarcastically) Thank you Martha Stewart... Anyway, if you still want to get some use out of your old creaker, listen up - this segments for you.

MS- DG

In keeping with today's focus on modems, let's ask what you can do if you've got a modem slower than 28-8. If youve got a 14-4, its still not that bad for online access, but there are some things you can do to make the process less tedious.

CU- Explorer screen as graphics are turned off; site is loaded (WHAT SITE?)

 

Graphics turned back on; site re-loaded

With your web browser, try turning the autoload graphics option off. This will make most pages load much faster. A well designed web site will have text descriptions of the graphics that give you an idea of what you're missing, and many sites have text only versions. You can always turn graphics-loading back on if a site just doesn't work without them.

Graphic: (Wiz website URL)

As always, youll find even more specific tips on our website.

MS- DG

 

 

 

 

MS- Winslow (smiling)

MS- Roxanne (shaking her head)

MS- Maxine (caught eating pizza, motions camera away)

So what if you've got a modem that's even slower than 14-4? Well, you can still use it for faxing, but I would instead suggest a simple ceremony in the back yard with a few close friends and a shovel. Maybe in a few years you can invite the neighborhood kids over for an archaeology lesson. (laughs at his amazing wittiness.)

- HIGHLIGHT TRANSITION FX -

  
   

 

 

D. CHATTED PROBLEM

2S- DG & Rox

D1 D.G.: So, Roxanne - who's our next caller?
 

D2 ROX: The line's free right now, D.G., but I see you do have a question in the chat room.

MS- DG

 

CU- Wiz Chat Room screen

 

 

 

 

 

 

MS- DGD3 D.G.: (looking at chat room window in monitor) So we do, Roxie. (briefly peruses screen) Hmm - a CU-SeeMe problem. (reading kind of quickly from screen) Let's see, she says "I've been trying out CU-SeeMe with my friend, and yesterday we were able to connect point-to-point just fine. But today, she can't connect to mine. I can get to other sites, but she can't get to me. I haven't changed anyting with my setup, and she says she hasn't changed anything either. I've followed all the directions and I am stumped! What could be the problem?" (gets perplexed look on his face) Ah-huh. Hmm. Well, this is just the kind of thing we have Winslow around for. So, take it away Winslow!

MS- Winslow

D4 WINSLOW: (looks surprised to be on the spot) Well, ahh, let's see. Well it could be ... (looking distracted) no, that's not it. Well, have you tried, um.... no, that wouldn't work. Well maybe it's... Maxine, what do you think?

MS- Maxine

D5 MAXINE: (caught off-guard while kicking back reading a novel, she hurriedly puts her feet down and straightens in her chair) Uh...

MS- Rox

D6 ROXANNE: And you call yourselves gurus! I think one of our viewers has it figured out - look at this. (She has the kid in a CU-SeeMe window on her monitor screen, which we now see.)

CU- Kid in CU-SeeMe window

D7 KID: (in superior sounding snotty little kid voice) Well, it's intuitively obvious to even a casual observer that the problem is because the Internet service provider is assigning a dynamic IP address. Some ISP's do that to eliminate problems caused by different computers assigned the same IP. She needs to find out the IP address of her computer and tell it to her friend each time they want to connect. A quite simple problem, actually.

MS- DG

 

 

 

 

 

2S- DG & Rox

D8 D.G.: (sneering at Winslow) Of course it is, (turning to camera w/ forced smile) and thanks so much for your help. (stretching to turn a negative into a positive) Another example of the audience interactivity that makes this show so effective in solving any computer problem!

(pauses w/ forced smile while figuring out how to change the subject) Hey, Rox, have I shown you how my new desk works? (raises his desktop)
 

D9 ROX: Is that electronic or are you just happy to see me?

- HIGHLIGHT TRANSITION FX -

  

E. MOBILE MINUTE

Animated graphic

Mobile Minute theme music in (:10)

E1 D.G.: Now it's time for the Mobile Minute, where our very own Mobileman gives tips on how to compute while you're on the road.

Music out

MS- DG

Todays installment: The Case of the Pesky PBX. Hey, Mobileman!

Hotel room, where Mobileman is crouched over a hotel desk peering intently at his laptop. He looks over his shoulder, turns around, and in his surprise knocks over the phone on his desk.

Holds up receiver.

Key(L/3): Mobileman

King o Gadgets

 

 

 

 

E2 MOBILEMAN: (looking interrupted) Oh, hi.

Well today's tip is how to get around a hotel's pesky PBX -- that's geek talk for the hotels phone system.

He fumbles and puts the phone back together. Gestures to laptop.

Gestures opening arms up & out globally, phone still in hand, knocking over lamp.

So heres the symptom. You've hooked up your laptop to the hotel phone, but have problems connecting to your internet service provider. Now you might think this is because everyone in the civilized world is trying to get on the Internet, and that may indeed be the case.

As he is putting lamp back

But there may be something else causing the problem. First, you should check your dial-out setup to make sure youre dialing the right numbers to get the type of outside line you need - local or long distance. If you have a "Disable Call Waiting" code in there, you may need to get rid of that, too.

While he yanks out the end table so the camera can see the phone jack, things on the table fall off.

If it still doesnt work, try plugging your computer directly into the wall phone jack instead of using the "dataport" on the phone.

Picking things up that fell off table.

The dataport may default to a line that's not OK'd for long distance.

Or check with the hotel operator to make sure your phone line is configured for the type of call you need to make.

Chances are, one of these methods will allow you to connect up to those all-important web sites you need to get to. Thats it for now, DG!

He turns back around to his laptop, and unbeknownst to him, the camera zooms in to the site he's visiting - The Unsightly Back Hair Support Page. He turns his head

puts hands in front of camera - cut back to Mr. Wizard set

 

 

 

 

Hey!

MS- DG

E3 D.G.: The always smooth Mobileman, ladies and gentleman. Thanks for helping us with that insidious problem.

(looking smug, leans towards camera) Learned that one in my Word-a-Day calendar.

- HIGHLIGHT TRANSITION FX -

  

F. MAC QUESTION & CLOSING

2S- DG & Roxanne

F1 CALLER: Do you guys have anyone who can answer a Mac question?

 

MS- Maxine sleeping by her Mac

F2 ROXANNE: Yeah, just a second. (yells to Maxine) Hey we got a Mac question - wake up, Maxine!

3S- DG, Rox, Max; DG throws a wad of paper at Maxine

F3 D.G.: Yo, Max!

MS- Max

F4 MAXINE: Huh? What? (waking up) Oh, wow - there's a question for me?
 

F5 CALLER: Yeah, I just wanted to know, well, some of my friends have these cool looking icons on their Macs, for folders and stuff, and I wanted to know how to do that too.

Key(L/3): Maxine

Mac-hugger

F6 MAXINE: Ahh - custom icons. Custom icons are like feng shui for your desktop. The proper design and arrangement of icons can create peace and harmony in all your computing endeavors. (gets a faraway look in her eye, then comes back to reality)

 

(starts typing)

Oh, well, there are a couple of ways you can go. If you're into designing your own icons, there are some commercial packages, or you can use ResEdit, which is free from Apple. And if you don't want to go to the trouble of designing your own, there are tons of free custom icons out there, too. Im adding all the specifics to our website as we speak.
 

F7 CALLER: Okay, thanks!

MS- DG

F8 D.G.: OK, Max, now that the only other remaining Mac owner on the planet has called in, you can go back to sleep.

MS- Maxine

F9 MAXINE: Didge, theres lots of us out there - we just have a lot fewer problems than you Wintel weenies!

 

MS- DG

Mr. Wiz theme music in after he starts talking

F10 D.G.: (trying to dodge the bullet, accidentally leans on the control for his desk, desktop starts rising up in front of his face as he frantically tries to regain contol of it)

Well, thats all the time we have for tonights show, join us next time on "Help Me, Mr. Wizard!"

Music out

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